From Wimbledon’s dress code to shaking hands after a match, tradition runs rampant in tennis. However, the greatest tennis tradition has to be overzealous relatives living vicariously through their loved ones in an attempt to defend their honor. Yesterday, one man paid homage to “tradition” and stepped up to provide us his unneeded opinion on his kin.
Like a rapper’s irritating hype-man, Christos Kyrgios, brother to wunderkind Nick Kyrgios, went off on “the haters” after the young Aussie’s win over Uzbekistan’s Denis Istomin. In the profanity-laced tirade, Kyrgios blasted everyone from the players to the media.
He starts off with a short congratulations to his brother on his win before the post unravels into its true intent. The first shots fired are towards other players on the tour or, as he refers to them, the “stiffs” and “zombies” compared to passionate frontrunners of the next generation like his brother. Hopefully “stiffs” like Rafael Nadal and Gael Monfils will read this bit of advice and learn to have a little more flair while competing.
Discussing the media’s focus on Kyrgios’ attitude on court, his brother slams the press in the most effective way possible (if you’re in middle school): he calls them fat. He raves, “Keep your unqualified, useless & shit opinion next to your packet of chips on your desk where you are resting your fat ass.” Sadly for Kyrgios, this isn’t middle school, and my bag of chips is actually in the drawer next to me. The rest of the Facebook post is a bungled mess of praise for his talented brother and creative insults to all of the “naysayers.”
However, between the childish attacks, Kyrgios does makes some good points. In the midst of the cringe-worthy diatribe, Kyrgios remarks, “This is a 19 year old doing things that the sport has never seen, in his own way. A way that is entertaining and loved by not only his fans, not only lovers of the sport, but people who love seeing character.” This portion of the post could have been used to provide a wonderfully positive message of support for his brother, but unfortunately, he decides to take things to their logical extreme.
Christos Kyrgios also has some advice to give to his brother, asking him to “quietly say, ‘Please be patient haters, there is so much more to come.'” Let’s pray that he rereads what he wrote later and decides to use the advice he gives the next time he decides to go on a Facebook rampage.
The post finally reaches its denouement with a plethora of scathing hashtags including #uselessopinions, #hatersbehindkeyboards, and my personal favorite, #uselesslifestryingtofindrelevance. No offense to all of you “useless lifes” out there.
Next time, Kyrgios should learn from Taylor Swift and just shake it off. Or listen to this kid: