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The Tennis Island’s Official Body Issue Power Rankings

To the delight of fans everywhere, reigning French Open champion Stan Wawrinka finally took off his signature checkered shorts, but took things one step further by making his nude debut in the latest edition of ESPN’s Body Issue. The reaction to his photos ran from mixed to positive as they quickly disseminated throughout the Twitterverse, particularly in comparison to previous players who have taken on this unlikely physical challenge.

So, how exactly does Wawrinka place among his naked peers? Here are TTI’s Official Body Issue rankings, featuring every player who was brave enough to strip down in front of the camera.

I’ll be taking a leaf out of the Tyra Banks book, evaluating the pictures on overall fierceness.

May the best smizer win!

8. Vera Zvonareva

Instead of leaving me in awe of the Russian’s athletic physique, this photo just left me creeped. The shadows coming from the blinds gives the picture a horror movie vibe, and the angle and pose both seem a bit awkward. It looks like she’s reclining on some type of exercising machine. It’s just not her best look.

Sashay away, Ms. Zvonareva.

Fierceness Level: A Paltry 2 out of 10

7. Stan Wawrinka

Wawrinka may be having a great 2015, but these photos aren’t much to look at. It has nothing to do with his body but his face. His expression screams, “This is extremely uncomfortable!”

Embrace the nude, Wawrinka!

Moreover, the backdrop looks like the one a parent would pick out at their local JC Penney.

Fierceness Level: An Unfortunate 3 out of 10

6. Daniela Hantuchova

The picture is cute, and so is her Body Issue cover photo. There’s nothing really wrong with it, other than the fact that I literally fell asleep looking at it.

Where is the personality? How about the charisma?

A cute photo can only get you so far, but the fierceness is really lacking.

Fierceness Level: A Basic 5 out of 10

5. John Isner

If you’re like me, the first thing you’ll notice from this picture of the American giant is how ridiculously long his legs are. Isner’s legs are longer than his match against Mahut in 2010. The photo’s background is gorgeous and a great addition to the 2013 Edition. Finally, Isner looks comfortable and, of course, he’s working those long legs.

Fierceness Level: An Exceptional 6 out of 10

4. Agnieszka Radwanska

For the most part, Isner and Radwanska’s photos are on the same level, but Radwanska’s odd pose of chilling by a tennis-ball filled pool just gets me. It’s so weird that it works. The controversy around Radwanska’s Body Issue photos also adds an interesting flair. She also gave a great response to her narrow minded critics.

Fierceness Level: An Eccentric 7 out of 10

3. Venus Williams

The elder of the Williams sisters wasn’t just in the Body Issue, but she worked the cover! Looking fierce as ever, the former No. 1 gave us a modelling lesson in her photoshoot. The mountain background adds an extra amount of amazing to the photos as well.

Fierceness Level: A Smashing 9/10

The last two players had amazing photos, and so I just couldn’t choose between the both of them. Without further ado, the winners are:

2. Serena Williams

The current World No. 1 is the OG of the Body Issue, as she was one of the athletes featured on its first cover back in 2009. Her issue also remains best-selling of them all. Since she is one of the originators of this concept of athletes modeling nude, I applaud her on this trailblazing legacy. The simple sit-and-smile shot revolutionized the way we look at our athletes, literally!

1. Tomas Berdych

Berdych is a model, end of story. He was made for the cameras, and these pictures show it. The Czech smizes like a pro, and his Greek god-like body is amazing. His tan-lines even look amazing! Berdych fans everywhere rejoiced because of this picture, and many more fans were made by just looking at it.

Fierceness Levels: A (three) fire emoji 10 out of 10!

How would you rank the players? Sound off in the comments!

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1 Comment on The Tennis Island’s Official Body Issue Power Rankings

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