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G’Day, Mate! TTI’s 2015 Australian Open Drinking Game

Come for the tennis – stay for the drinks. The Tennis Island proudly presents its 2015 Australian Open drinking game – including a signature cocktail for the first slam of the year.

Welcome to TTI’s little beach bar, where we shall have drinks and tennis for an entire fortnight. Stay as long as you like but please drink responsibly:

  • A player is forced to try Vegemite live on air. TAKE A SWIG. Said player enjoys the unique taste of the food past made of the leftover brewer’s yeast. TAKE ANOTHER SWIG.

  • Rafael Nadal maintains he is not a favourite and considers his entire game to be average at best at the moment. TAKE A SWIG.
  • Aussie-Aussie-Aussie-OI-OI-OI – but there is no Australian player on the court. TAKE A SWIG.

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  • Boris Becker looks ready to wilt after being exposed to the Melbourne sun for several hours. TAKE A SWIG. Boris Becker congratulates another player on winning with the hashtag #teamdjokovic. CHUG.
  • Whenever someone mentions the MTO Gate 2013 during the highly anticipated Stephens-Azarenka 1st round, TAKE A SWIG.

  • An Australian man plays a night match going into the early hours of the next day only to succumb in straight sets in the next round. TAKE A SWIG.
  • Someone utters the terms “Wet Bulb Globe Temperature” TAKE A SWIG. Said person attempts to explains how the WBGT is measured and fails hilariously. TAKE ANOTHER SWIG.
  • Lleyton Hewitt gets asked about retiring. TAKE A SWIG. Lleyton Hewitt actually announces retirement. CHUG.
  • Jelena Jankovic tells the on-court interviewer that she wants to slap her brother. TAKE A SWIG.

  • A player has his or her blood pressure taken FOR REAL. TAKE A SWIG.
  • Milos Raonic’s hair becomes the victim of humidity and looks suspiciously unkempt. TAKE A SWIG.
  • Dominika Cibulkova makes the second week. TAKE A SWIG. Dominika Cibulkova reaches the finals again. CHUG.
  • Novak Djokovic gets asked to imitate someone and reluctantly obliges because he has neeeeever done it before. TAKE A SWIG.

  • Out of the loaded bottom half of the first quarter emerges Serena Williams’s QF opponent, namely… Alizé Cornet. TAKE A SWIG. Cornet takes out Williams yet again. CHUG.
  • A picture or one or several players photographed with a koala, kangaroo or other Australian wildlife animals pops up on your timeline. TAKE A SWIG.
  • Pam Shriver gets sent out to the parking lot. And she isn’t happy about it. TAKE A SWIG.

  • Gael Monfils is just being himself. TAKE A SWIG.

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  • “Genie Army,” you guys. TAKE A SWIG.
  • Sam Stosur unexpectedly does things in the draw since Australia’s focus is firmly on the young guns in the men’s draw. TAKE A SWIG. Sam Stosur survives the first week. CHUG.
  • #NKRising becomes the headline of an Australian newspaper. TAKE A SWIG.

  • A tournament official mentions “Antilopes” in a discussion over the updated extreme heat policy. CHUG WHATEVER YOU HAVE LEFT.

Oh and signature cocktail?

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That’ll depend on the weather. But we suggest a Mornington Peninsula Ice Tea. A twist on the famed Long Island one but replace coke with tangy lemonade and a splash of quince liqueur.

About René Denfeld (202 Articles)
Weather is my business. Tennis is my playground. Born in the year of the Golden Slam. Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

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