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Tchin Tchin! TTI Presents: The 2015 Roland Garros Drinking Game

Photo: Christopher Levy

Photo: Christopher Levy

It is that time of the year again! Another Slam has begun, and what would a Slam be without an accompanying drinking game. So order a bottle of your favorite vin rouge from the TTI bar and enjoy the madness that should/could be Roland Garros 2015.

But please – drink responsibly!

– The Roland Garros website publishes an article that riles up a player. TAKE A SWIG (just to get you started).

– Serena Williams’ loss to Virginie Razzano is mentioned at least once during one of her matches. TAKE A SWIG. Someone brings it up in one of her press conferences and Williams walks out, saying “TMI”. TAKE ANOTHER SWIG.

– The Roland Garros app continues to have a life of its own, defying the common laws of technology. TAKE A SWIG.

– Someone gets asked about how they feel after the win. But really, they’ve lost. TAKE A SWIG.

– The entire ATP tour weasels around the term “favorite” like it’s some kind of a poisoned chalice. TAKE A SWIG.

– “Grunt”/”Hindrance”-gate rears its ugly head again, mainly focusing on Azarenka and Sharapova instead of the selective grunting heard on both tours. TAKE A SWIG.

– Andy Murray ends up being at odds with someone. TAKE A SWIG. If it happens to be the French crowd, TAKE ANOTHER SWIG. Kim Sears dons the appropriate piece of clothing during the next match. CHUG.

murrayhate

– “… and he hasn’t lost in Paris except for the one time against Söderling!” TAKE A SWIG. 

– A commentator complains about the lack of Hawkeye on clay. TAKE A SWIG.

– There is someone on a show court who really shouldn’t be there at all. AGAIN. TAKE A SWIG. 

– A match ends up delayed due to darkness. TAKE A SWIG. The crowd starts booing and makes its discontent heard. TAKE ANOTHER SWIG.

– You spot a Mexican Wave doing the rounds on the Bullring (Court 1). TAKE A SWIG.

– Maria Sharapova wins another three-set slug fest. TAKE A SWIG. Sharapova wins at least one point due to paralyzing an opponent with a deathglare. TAKE ANOTHER SWIG.

– Novak Djokovic has another agonizingly close bruise with a bottle of champagne. TAKE A SWIG. He opens it in precisely the same vein as in Rome. CHUG.

– Two players end up wearing the exact same outfit and it’s all just a little awkward. TAKE A SWIG.

– Someone complains about the poor weather in Paris. TAKE A SWIG. The person, player or media member happens to be British. TAKE ANOTHER SWIG.

– Alizé Cornet takes over your twitter timeline with a dramatic performance on Chatrier. TAKE A SWIG.

– Gael Monfils does something completely unnecessary, yet strangely glorious on court. TAKE A SWIG.

– Rafael Nadal – Novak Djokovic will be presented as a de facto finals. TAKE A SWIG. There won’t even be a Nadal-Djokovic quarterfinal. TAKE ANOTHER SWIG. There is a Nadal-Djokovic QF and the Serb loses the match after being a break up in the fifth, touching the net in a critical moment. CHUG AND GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING.

Are your livers ready for the French Open? Sound off in the comments!

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About René Denfeld (202 Articles)
Weather is my business. Tennis is my playground. Born in the year of the Golden Slam. Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

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